...posted at 0:00:00 AM...

Notes from Wednesday:

DAY FIVE COMPLETE PICTURE DIRECTORY

Mile 1840 (MST) 12:10 PM
Missoula was the northern-most point of this trip. We start south, now following the Lewis and Clark trail specifically. A long time off the interstate, as we wind through the mountains to Idaho.

Damn, it's Wednesday!

Odometer starts at Mile 2005.

Did Arthur C. Clarke ever write a book with that title? Don't think so.

Oddly, much of Clearwater County, Idaho, is in the Pacific Time Zone, but going south (not EAST! NO BACKTRACKING, NO RETREAT! is our motto) we cross back into Mountain Time. Weird.

Anyway, we have will be following US 95 all the way through Idaho.

There's a lot of construction on US 95, like Chicago in the summer. On the down side, it is causing huge delays, and is making Morgan paranoid after scraping the shit out of the bottom of the Probe the day before. On the up side, it allows a long change to look at some beautiful views.

Salmon River, ID, which from 95 looks like a few houses on a hill, won the Idaho state football championship in 1999. Cool! In Indiana, where Morgan grew up, the football was in five separate divisions, arranged by the size of the high school. Idaho doesn't seem to have that deal, so this small town kicked all the big town ass. Cool!

Mile 2101
Crossed the 45th Parallel. Halfway between the North Pole and the Equator. Nice trivia moment, like the Continental Divide.

Lunch in Weiser, Idaho.
Fiddler's Café, with the county Sheriff and the town police at the bootha t the toher end of the café.

Max, somehow, can't help using the word "blowjob". The cops stare at us as we walk back out to the car. Though they probably would have done that in any case, because Morgan hasn't shaved in days and looks like he's not from around here, or anywhere.

Mile 2150
Frontier Motel and RV Park
Cambridge, Idaho

"Since Jan 1, we have swerved 4492 happy guests and 6 grouches."

Mile 2197
Fruitland, Idaho

"World's Largest Pawnshop"

Who would have known the WORLD'S LARGEST PAWNSHOP was in southern Idaho. Much have been a surprise at the pawnshop world games.

Mile 2215
Parma, Idaho

"Ugly Cowboy Vittles"

Even ugly cowboys gotta eat.

Mile 2260
We have crossed over into Oregon. As the third AC/DC album of the last 50 miles goes on the CD player, we decide: "Oregon is AC/DC country."

Mile 2413

Texaco sign:

Homemade Pie
Gas Prices
Regular Ass
Premium Leg

(Morgan may have mistyped from Max's notes, above.)

Good thing we left Idaho, because the Idaho scenery was the first boring patch of the trip. Oregon gets mountain-y again, plus CREEPY.

At one point, the crappy video camera starts freaking out, and we all know it's the work of aliens. Or Masons. (Have we told you about the Mason conspiracy yet that's been following s all trip? Maybe later.)

Clearly, the aliens have joined the conspiracy, because we passed Roswell (Idaho) in the last 100 miles.

Yet they have not grabbed us up off the highway. We are ready for the power to go, and for weird lights to come streaming over Lookout Butte toward us. But it doesn't happen.

Finally, Morgan has a theory: "I know why the aliens aren't grabbing us. Professional courtesy."

Max: ?

Morgan: "We're driving a Probe."

Idiot.

Mile 2500 or so.
We cross into Nevada at McDermitt, an unnerving and poor border town. They have a Texaco and a casino.

Max, after driving through all of Oregon, except about a mile of 6% grade: "OREGON IS MY BITCH!"

Winnemucca is out crash point for the night. We arrive, and get rooms in (can you guess?) a Motel 6.

Then we eat the first fast food since before Missoula, around 1200 miles ago. It's Taco Bell.

Then we both go and crash, as Max comments: "We're starting to remind me WAY too much of Mulder and Scully."

The aliens stay away during the night.