Benedict 4 had a three year run as Pope, from 900 AD to 903. He's not noted for much, just sort of carrying out the duties of the office. Kind of the Millard Fillmore of Popes. Not bad enough to be the Franklin "there's nothing left to do but get drunk" Pierce, not even bureaucratic enough to have the accomplishments of a Rutherford B Hayes. Even Benedict 5 can be called the William Henry Harrison of Popes, since he died very quickly after taking office (33 days in 964 AD). (Though even that title should really go to Urban 7, the record holder for shortest-ever time as a recognized Pope: 13 days in 1590. Though you could debate Stephen 2, from 752, should hold the WH Harrison title, since he was Pope for three days. But he isn't officially recognized since he wasn't consecrated as Il Papa.)

One thing that Benedict 4 did do was uphold the ordinances of Pope Formusus (891-896 AD). Formosus was one of those political Popes, working with guys like Charles the Bald of France. Anyway, Formosus was political enough that he got on the wrong side of Pope John 7, who threatened to excommunicate him. Eventually, Formosus cut a deal with John 7 where he promised never to return to Rome or "exercise priestly functions". After John 7 died, the next Pope, Marinus 1, restored Formosus to some authority. And three Popes later, Formosus took over the job himself.

I think it’s fair to say Formosus had a tumultuous time as Pope. First of all, and comedically, Formosus was forced to crown a guy named Guido (Duke of Spoleto, an Italian city-state) as Holy Roman Emperor. Formosus encouraged one of Guido’s rivals, Arnulf of Carinthia, to liberate Italy from Guido, by marching on Rome. As a result of his successes against Spoleto, Formosus then crowns Arnulf emperor. In your face, Guido!

That’s medieval politics, and Pope Formosus, his predecessors and his successors, were all mitre-deep in this kind of maneuvering.

Formosus dies in 896, and Boniface 6 comes after him. But only for 16 days, making him the runner up for the WH Harrison trophy. The guy who comes after him, Stephen 7, is a made guy of the Spoletans. He’s Guido’s guy, in other words. Except Guido died in 894. but his son and wife, Lambert and Agiltrude, were still holding a grudge against Formosus. So, in the most disgusting brown nose act in recorded history (except for maybe the career of Henry Kissinger), Stephen 7 has Formosus dug up. To stand trial!

Get this. The year-old corpse of Formosus is dressed up in Pope robes, stuck on the Papal Throne, and has to face the same charges that Pope John 7 brought him up on back in 872! These are the charges he already cut a deal on in 878, when he was, you know, still breathing. Worst of all, he gets this public defender Deacon, who is probably getting paid the 9th Century equivalent of minimum wage, and who likely sees which way the Papal wind is blowing. So poor Dead Pope Formosus naturally gets found guilty. Those assembled tear the Pope Robes off the corpse, cut off the three fingers of his right hand (which priests use to consecrate items and people as holy), and they throw his naked bones in the Tiber River.

People are so freaked out by this whole deal that Stephen 7 is put in prison, and then strangled to death. After Stephen 7 dies, the body of Formosus gets re-interred in St. Peter’s, and Corpse Trials get banned by the church. (All this takes place in the 20 days that Pope Theodore 2 is sitting on the Pope Throne.)

So think about it: how crazy have things gotten in your political life when you have to have a rule against putting corpses on trial? All I can say is, Bill Clinton better hope his heart holds out until DeLay, Frist, and Bush are all out of office.

I’ve gotten somewhat far afield of Benedict 4, yeah? I mean, how does he factor in? Right, so all the bishops that Formosus ordained (with his later-severed three fingers) were un-ordained by Stephen 7’s actions. Benedict 4 re-ordains all those guys. And for his three Papal years, things are at least a little bit stable at the dawning of the 10th Century.

Not to last, I’m afraid. After Benedict 4 dies, Leo 5 is Pope for about a month before he is (supposedly) imprisoned and then strangled to death by his successor, Pope Christopher. And then Chris (the only Pope ever named that, so far) is driven out by Sergius 3.

Ah, Sergius 3. As nasty as the Cadaver Synod is, the next 60 years and 12 Popes are seen as so bad that the whole time period is given an overall title that indicates a time of horror and depravity, like “War of the Roses” or the “Star Wars Saga”. It’s called the “Rule of the Harlots” or the “pornocracy”.